Table manners

For years we British have been derided for our cuisine and across the world our eating habits have been defined as plates piled high with largely flavourless slabs of meat and scoopfuls of potato or fish and chips.
But this is changing, and changing rapidly. Some of our top chefs – Gordon Ramsay and Heston Blumenthal to name but two – are taking centre stage in the world-food arena.
And the fame phenomenon of our chefs has created household personalities behind the exotic creations that you aspire to tasting. The desire to eat a 12-course meal, which involves bottles spewing out liquid hydrogen, a la Fat Duck, or drop in to Gordon Ramsey’s in Royal Hospital Road during a day trip to London is in far more people than it ever used to be and has transcended the classes like never before.
While ‘nouveau foodies’ get quite excited about the prospect of eating at a Michelin-starred restaurant (the hallowed award which is the holy grail for many aspiring chefs) many are still daunted by the prospect of embarrassing oneself due to an insufficient knowledge of proper table manners and eating etiquette.
Even relatively worldly people may not be attuned to all the cultural nuances involved in eating out. All cultures have their unique social graces when it comes to approaching food in communal situations. For example, in polite circles among the Parisians, it is the done thing to eat with your elbows on the table. The custom stems from the desire of French noblewomen to display their rings, which were indicative of their husband’s wealth.
The first and fundamental thing to remember is that eating a meal out is almost always a communal and social activity. Throughout history meals have played a central role to developing relationships with others - world-changing decisions have been made over a business lunch while a million proposals of marriage have been made over a romantic dinner.
The food is, or course, important but so is your company and you must always strike a balance between eating and talking. Do not clear your plate within seconds of it arriving – savour the food with small forkfuls and enjoy your company.

When you arrive at a restaurant allow the waiter/waitress to take your coat or jacket and seat you. Now, onto the table setting. When faced with an array of glasses, plates and cutlery you may be left a little confused as to what belongs to whom. Just remember this – solids (ie bread) are on your left and liquids (water, wine) are on your right.
You will find your napkin (serviette is passé) either to the left or right of your plate or actually folded across it. When you sit, unfold your napkin and place it on your lap. Never tuck it into your shirt or use it to clean dirty cutlery or glasses – ask the waiter to replace them.
The number of cutlery items on either side of your plate can seem initially confusing, although many places are now scaling this down or bringing you individual cutlery to accompany each course. But if you are confronted by a confusing array of implements you shouldn’t go far wrong if you remember to start from the outside and work your way in as the courses progress.
At some point before your food arrives a waiter will offer you bread. This should be placed on your bread plate (to your left) and broken with your fingers into small pieces to eat. Butter should be placed on the side of your bread plate using either the utensil provided with it or you’re your butter knife, and spread onto each individual chunk, again using your butter knife. Do not cut the roll open and butter both sides before tucking in!
Armed with this knowledge, you’re now ready for your meal proper to begin. Unless you are part of a large gathering, an office party for example, you should always wait until everyone has been served before beginning your meal, and even then it is polite to wait for the person hosting the meal to begin first. If you want to add salt or pepper to your food but the utensils are out of your reach, do not lean over and grab them but ask the person sitting nearest to pass them to you. Remember to always pass bowls to the right.
As mentioned before, do not put your head down and gobble your food as soon as it arrives, but eat slowly, mindful that many people enjoy spending a long time over a meal – particularly in a noteworthy venue. Remember, small mouthfuls chewed with your mouth closed, and pauses for conversation (with your mouth empty!) are de rigueur for polite eating.

If you order soup at any point the liquid should be spooned away from you before being placed in your mouth and if you need to tilt the bowl, again it should be tilted away from you. If the soup, or any part of your meal for that matter, is hot do not blow on it to cool it down – allow time to take its course. Also, do not use your fingers to push food from your plate onto your fork and try not to scrape your cutlery on the plate.
It is acceptable to place your knife and fork on your plate when you pause between mouthfuls, but never place the used cutlery on the table. When you have finished your meal imagine that your plate is a clock face and place your knife and fork together in a ‘twenty past four position’ to signal to the waiter that your have completed the course.
At many good restaurants you will be presented with a small dish before you start your meal that is not on the menu and is unexpected. Do not go red in the face, summon the waiter and complain that you did not order it. This is known as an amuse-bouche - a small extra that the chef has conjured up as a treat for his customers, which can often be a treat to devour. Other small morsels may be presented between courses and often serve the purpose of being palette cleansers, which will prepare your taste buds for the next course.
When drinking your wine the custom is to hold the glass by the stem at the base of the bowl. In the case of white wine there is a theory that in doing so the liquid will be kept cool. Few people seem to adhere to this custom any more.
Try as hard as you can not to burp at the table. If it does happen by accident say ‘pardon me’ to your company. If you get food stuck in your teeth excuse yourself to the bathroom to sort it our – don’t sit there picking your teeth in front of your guests.
In the UK many people will have coffee after the meal is over and often an espresso is a good way to reinvigorate yourself after a big meal. Many restaurants are completely none smoking now and as of July 1 2007 smoking will be banned in all restaurants and bars in the UK. Be wary of smoking even in a restaurant that permits it as many of your fellow diners may be offended by the smell.
Armed with these basic pieces of information you will now be able to approach your dining experience with confidence and ensure that you make a good impression on your companions.